Meghan Markle isn’t pregnant and never has been.
The ever-expanding bump? Bogus. The visibly popped navel? Phony. The rapturous glow? Fabricated. The beatific belly cradling? A complete con job. #WakeUpSheeple
Thus spaketh the conspiracy theorists, who riddle Twitter and Instagram with hashtags like #Megxit, #DuchessofDeception, #charlatanduchess, and the helpfully descriptive #meghanmarkleisnotpregnant. They claim that Meghan has been strapping on a pillow or a bespoke prosthetic called a Moonbump for the past eight months to hide the “truth” of her pregnancy—which is to say, there isn’t one. She and her husband, Prince Harry, have hired a surrogate, who is either Talia Brown Thall, Meghan’s erstwhile stylist, or a woman who was spotted leaning against a wall outside Westminster Abbey in March. As evidence they cite the shifting position of her belly button, her superhuman ability to bend over and the way her stomach jiggles like a molded aspic at a community potluck.
“I don’t think Meghan Markle is actually pregnant. I think they are using a #surrogate and lying to the public. #moonbump,” one observer wrote on Twitter. “Meghan’s pregnancy is a fake pregnancy, she is wearing a bump that keeps enlarging or shrinking in size, she is able to bend over and even run in her supposed 8th month of pregnancy. She’s using a surrogate. Research it,” another sniffed. “God I never thought she was so cunning. Like pulling a fake pregnancy in front of the whole world?? Not even telling her own family?? How did she think she will pull it off??” a third clucked.
Whipping Megxiteers into a particular state of frenzy is the mysterious case of the disappearing and reappearing “magic bump.” On Youtube, a vlogger by the nom de guerre of DanjA zonE posted a video that supposedly captures a “bump-free” Duchess of Sussex ducking into a waiting car during her five-day girls’ trip to New York City in February. Framed as “absolute proof” of Meghan’s subterfuge, it is presented in the manner of the Zapruder film. “I cannot believe that they are showing this,” DanjA zonE drawls over the slowed-down footage, which has racked up more than 223,500 views. “I cannot believe that this hasn’t be stripped from this planet somehow. Unbelievable!” Even her dog, she adds, is shaken by what she caught, which you can kind of, sort of see if you squint at the screen with your head half-cocked like you’re staring at one of those Magic Eye pictures. You’re more likely to give yourself a headache.